Grow up! No snickering from you, Mr. Smarty Pants! It means rooster, so it's basically chicken soup that happens to be spicy! I said, stop snickering! details

BOING! Not to be confused with the Miami Sound Machine. AOOGA! 25 cartoon noises available at the touch of a button. SPLAT! Hear for yourself in this YouTube video. details

Here, let me light that for you... or shoot foam out of my fake lighter, capable of going five feet! Comes with a can of foam stuff. details

There are a lot of cute, precious kites out there. This isn't one of them, but will send a clear message to those other kites. details

You know it's groovy because it says so right on it. Cheap, too. details

Your cat can be a unicat! You'd think that cats would hate this, but it says "CATS LOVE IT!" right on the box. details

This long, flowing, yet removable mullet will make you very cool, in the "ironic" sense of the word "cool." details

Basically, a dog ball, but dogs who pick up the ball part in their mouths will appear to have giant smoochable lips. details

Give someone the brief thrill of thinking that they've won $10,000. What a great way to tell someone that they're a winner... no, actually, a loser! details

Someone needs a happy clown? A sad clown? A nasty clown? Keep this in your glove compartment and you'll be ready for anything. details